Bust Rallies
- Jun 13, 2022
- 4 min read

Monte Carlo or Bust Rally: Black Forest Gateau 2022 | Bangers, not ladyboys... and Filipino Rum!

Three years after our last outing to Monte Carlo, it was an emotional return to a continental banger rally, but what a return it was!!

Monte Carlo or Bust Rally: Black Forest Gateau 2022 started in Namur with a registration evening filled with cowboys and Indians enjoying the market square accompanied by some of the potent local brew. It was admin heavy for the crew as half the teams forgot their paperwork – and the other half cheated at the ice-breaker quiz. Registration ran late into the evening….which is just as well as the two ‘Little and Larger’ minis took twice as long as anyone else to cross The Channel. The Bust Rallies crew came home with 4 bottles of Filipino Rum – and we’re not entirely sure why.

Little and larger

It was a bright and early start on Friday and over 40 teams made it to the starting grid. A vast array of costumes were on display, many on theme with the Jubilee celebrations. The winners of the ice breaker were announced and presented with a suitable prize (a bottle of Filipino Rum). Thankfully our participants weren’t phased by the giant T-Rex that invaded the start line and it didn’t disturb team Bee-yonce, who were busy still trying to decorate their car as others crossed the start line. Within minutes at least 2 teams were pulled over by the local Police – but only so they could have their photos taken with the car.

The start line

Our fleet of bangers was quickly away, travelling across Belgium and Luxembourg undertaking special photo challenges including egg tossing and cross-dressing with mannequins. The majority of teams easily achieved a snap of the Pompidou Centre in Metz…apart from the Bedrock Masons, who got a bit confused and thought we meant the one in Paris!

The Flintstones on tour

Next it was over The Rhine and into Germany where we hit the Black Forest and the beautiful city of Freiburg. Despite some incredibly bad map reading and a few too many toilet breaks, all of our teams eventually made it. Teams enjoyed the atmosphere of the brewery beer garden and exchanged stories of life without air con. The local stomach-lining specialty of fried potatoes clearly didn’t work as by the end of the evening there was a beer-fuelled commitment from 12 participants to take the Verzasca Dam bungee jump (from James Bond Goldeneye) the next morning. Ps – only 2 of them actually did it.

Toga party

Fresh faced in the morning we lined up our cars again and invited our 150 brave participants to don Togas and gather at a local McDonalds. As temperatures soared, light clothing was a must, especially for team Pussay Patrol in the Fiat Cinquecento who were clearly getting to know each other a little too well.

Scot Gun cooling off

We were off once again, this time heading through Switzerland towards the snow capped mountains. As the hills kicked-in, several cars began to feel the strain. Team Scot Gun in the Focus overheated a few times as we climbed the amazing Gotthard Pass, and lots of teams stopped to help – and to admire the amount of oil coming out of the engine. Fair play to them though, they persevered, got her safely down the mountain, for which they were rewarded ...with a bottle of ice cold Filipino rum.

Stunning scenery

The picturesque town of Menaggio, on the shores of Lake Como was our home for the evening. Teams had been tasked with completed a special shopping list that included inflatables and fortune cookies. There were some incredible performances on the challenges – and this is also has to count for one of our biggest ever years for the amount of cheating that went on! We settled in for the evening, sampling Campari Sodas (ugh!), eating pizza and hearing all the excuses for not doing the bungee jump. A few splashes were heard in the lake in the early hours - but thankfully not many of the cars, although a few of them did take a spin round the lake on the car ferry.

Menaggio

Sunday morning, the final leg and we gathered in Como to begin our final drive into Monte Carlo. Smoke bombs detonated by the Top Gun car were the perfect backdrop to our beach party fancy dress theme. Everyone made good time for the start line – apart from the Ladybirds not Ladyboys, who were "still in bed" in Menaggio when our first team arrived in Monaco.

Ladybirds Not Ladyboys

More cars started to wobble on the final day and we lost the Rovers Return limo (safely on a transporter back to Blighty) and the Merc of Curtains your Nan treasured. Several hours later, the Ladybirds not Ladyboys also suffered a number of problems but safely made it to Monte Carlo.

Pussay Patrol

The teams received a warm welcome into Casino Square, apart from Carmageddon, as apparently space shuttles are not a welcome site in the Principality. In addition, the Octopussies had their VW pulled aside in order to remove the diver and wheelchair from the roof. Just a normal day on the job for Monaco Police Department. After several laps of the F1 circuit, a couple of close shaves with a Ferrari and heat exhaustion kicking in, we made our way to Nice for the evening.

Octopussies

Once everyone was together, we celebrated an incredible few days together, heard some amazing stories of endurance, speculated where the Ladybirds not Ladyboys had gone for those missing hours and toasted all our teams with a few beers, a sing song....and a bottle of Filipino Rums.